Celibacy Jay

I am a guy, in my forties. I grew up north of Detroit, and I now live in Oklahoma. I have a couple of college degrees, I'm single, and I have never married. It hasn't ALWAYS been so, but celibacy is my sexual preference. For a long time I practiced celibacy principally because of circumstances, i.e., "not getting any." But for more than the past ten years the reasons for my celibate persuasion have been more involved than that.
The decision that celibacy was appropriate for me has evolved. It was a leaning that I had been heading toward for a long time. I had long noticed that the sex act---for me---never lived up to its top billing. The billing of which I speak: Doing the sex act is `making love'. I accept the fact that intercourse is an act of love for most people; that it is an extremely loving, wonderful activity for so-called `normal' people. But not so for me. There is no `making love' for me. The genital sensations are not connected to any feelings of love. Any feeling of togetherness or intimacy just isn't there.

I probably would have adopted celibacy sooner but I had always assumed it was for religious, puritanical or prudish folk. I am still leery, because I consider myself open minded. To say no to sex somehow seems closed-minded. In the last "sexual" relationship that I had, I was in love. I enjoyed the excitement of being with my girlfriend. We had known each other for years, and then we dated for months before we had sex. We even spent a lot of time in bed together not having sex. The interesting thing was that being with her, and not having sex, was entirely acceptable to me. It was extremely enjoyable. We would cuddle, caress, tease and talk about lots of wonderful things important to ourselves. It was love, and it was wonderful. Then the inevitable happened. The sex act. It was over, scarcely no longer than it had started. It was a total letdown. A disappointment.

Getting off was not making love with her. Nor was losing an erection through orgasm.